Memory of a Dream
by LittleGreenWoman
Summary: Voltron time loop trope, featuring Klance! Need I say more? I might leave things as they are, to your imagination, or maybe add one more short chapter. We shall see. Update: Angst and season 6 spoilers. Another update: Tagging this as complete for now, but things can change!
1. Chapter 1

Alarms were blaring throughout the Castle. The shields were down, the lions were unresponsive, the equipment was out of control and the ship was decisively heading towards a red giant.

And yet, the two boys who were locked inside a mostly empty storage unit seemed unaffected by the chaos, or their impending doom.

They sat side by side on the cold floor, looking almost bored.

"So," Lance said, "I guess you not running around and punching things mean you do believe her?"

"I trust Pidge," Keith replied. "Besides, she's either telling the truth or she's a psychic," he added, as he recalled Pidge patiently explaining that yes, they were stuck in a time loop and they were having this conversation 17th time, and it was 17th time out of 21 loops because the first time she didn't know he would get sucked into space while trying to get to his lion and he was impossible to reason with the next 3 times. No, she didn't know why she could remember and he couldn't. She had told him all the plans he had come up with so far, and how all of them ended in blood and tears, in detail. She had also mentioned that she knew when he was a kid he had an imaginary friend named Mrs. Puffy and that he was afraid of her. So yeah, Keith was a believer and would sit quietly as Pidge worked on a solution to get them out of this.

He turned his head and looked at Lance. "Don't you?"

"I do," Lance said, glancing at him and away. "Though at first I was convinced she made it all up to get back at me."

Keith shook his head slowly and asked, "What did you do?"

Lance grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. Keith looked down, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm glad you asked, mullet. Let's just say during training the gladiator stopped and asked her if it had a soul."

"You did not!"

"You'd be amazed what you could do with one Olkarion cube and some help from more technologically apt friends," Lance said proudly and giggled. "Oh man, you should have seen her face."

Keith laughed despite himself. "You always did bring the worst in Hunk. Why are you like this?"

Lance bumped his shoulder against Keith's, staring at the boy with a lopsided grin. "You know you love it."

Keith mumbled something as he turned his gaze back to the walls. Lance retreated, his expression suddenly sullen.

The room was silent again, until Lance got on his feet and started pacing. "I'm cold," he explained when Keith gave him a look.

"What does it matter?" said the raven haired boy. "We'll reset soon anyway." _Reset_ , he thought, _not die_. He hadn't asked Pidge if she remembered how that felt.

Lance stopped his pacing. "Dude, by this logic what's the point of anything, since we are all gonna die at some point?" He sat down beside Keith again and hugged his knees to his chest.

"Not the same thing."

"So if I was hurt you'd let me bleed out just so you could have some peace and quiet until the reset huh?"

Keith stared at his open palms resting in his lap, brows knit.

"Is that what you think of me?" he asked quietly.

"I don't quiznaking know what to think of you," Lance said. "After all this time, I still don't have a clue."

Keith kept his hands in his lap, formed into fists as Lance added in a small voice, "I just thought maybe that's what _you_ think of _me._ I guess you are not interested in making friends… with me, at least."

Keith laughed in disbelief. "You're one to talk!" he said. "Not like you ever wanted to be friends with me. You don't even want me around; I don't think you could have made it clearer!"

"That's not…" Lance began, and sighed. "I have been an ass," he admitted, to Keith's surprise. "I gave you shit when you were here, gave you shit for leaving… You'd think I don't know what I want!" He let out a huffed chuckle. "But _man_ , you make it _so_ easy."

Before Keith could protest to this, Lance reached out to his helmet from where they had piled their armors, tried to activate the comm and failed. He tossed the helmet to the other side of the room. "Useless," he muttered.

"What was that about?" Keith asked, watching him in confusion.

"Dunno, I just wanted to check how others were doing," he said and added defensively, "I know we will reset okay? Even so, I just don't want anyone to go through this alone…"

"That's… thoughtful of you," Keith said, feeling a strange warmth in his chest. He looked at Lance, only to find him looking back. The room was dim, but he could still make out the peculiar tone of blue of his eyes. He suddenly felt his stomach drop and broke the eye contact, inching away.

He wished Lance would say something then, loud and obnoxious, or tease him about his hairstyle, challenge him to something silly. Anything but this awkward silence, anything but his resigned posture that just made his heart beat faster with the desire to put his arms around him. _What the actual quiznak._

"Pidge said this will be the last time, if everything goes according to the plan," Lance said out of the blue.

Maybe Keith was reading too much into it, but he sounded almost nostalgic.

"That's good," he replied dumbly.

"Ask me something," Lance said.

"What?"

Lance moved closer, put a hand on Keith's shoulder and leaned in to face him. "Ask me something," he repeated. "Anything. I promise I will tell you anything you want to know."

"Lance, what's the point?" the black paladin asked as he tried to squirm away, but Lance's grip on his shoulder kept him pinned. "We are either going to reset, or we're all gonna die. Nobody will remember anything in either case!"

"Precisely!" Lance said, beaming.

"You don't make sense!"

"Your face doesn't make sense!" Lance drew back with his childish comeback, taking his ridiculous scent of citrus and sea away with him. Though Keith should have known by now that Lance didn't really back down easily.

Sure enough, Lance spoke again.

"So if I am in this moment right now, and if I feel what I feel, why shouldn't I do something about that?"

Keith turned away, eyebrows knit together. Why shouldn't they indeed? It was the perfect setup, a cop-out with no consequences. The worst would be about an hour of feeling humiliated. Yeah, Keith could endure that much.

"Okay," he said, and took a deep breath to steady himself.

He still wasn't ready for the next words that came out of his mouth.

"Are you in love with Allura?"

To his surprise, Lance smiled. Keith tried to ignore the heat creeping up his neck.

"She's amazing," Lance said. Keith was thankful that he didn't question his motives. Hell, he wasn't really sure about his motives. "Brave and beautiful, strong and vulnerable, kind, caring, smart…" Lance continued.

 _Oh. "_ That's a yes then," Keith said flatly.

"It's just… Safe," said Lance. "I know it won't happen. I know she'll never see me that way. I don't even want her to. No risk of a broken heart's agony." His face twisted into an expression akin to anger. "To answer your question; no Keith, I am not in love with her. I'm just a coward."

"Oh," Keith uttered. "I mean, you are not a coward, man. I know you are not, and Red wouldn't let a coward pilot her, so that alone should be proof enough." _He is not in love with Allura. He knows he is not in love with Allura._

"Thanks," Lance said, barely audible. "So should we make this a two way thing? I know I offered to answer anything, but you think you can also answer some?"

Keith shrugged. If he was going down, he might as well sink all the way to the bottom. "Sure."

"What do you think of me?" Lance asked. "And be honest. You don't need to filter it for the sake of Voltron, or your leadership responsibilities. Be brutal, samurai."

Keith gaped first, then closed his mouth, stared ahead, then stared at the ceiling, then at his feet—

"Sweet quiznak Keith, you are killing me!"

"Alright, alright! I was just thinking!" He cleared his throat and Lance gave him a look, his eyebrows dramatically raised.

"You talk too much," Keith said. "You're loud and you drive me insane sometimes. And I don't understand what's your deal with my hair!" Lance snorted at that, ready to comment but Keith went on. "But you have a good heart, better than most, certainly better than mine…"

Lance wanted to protest, but Keith ignored him. The dam was broken. "You are kind and thoughtful, and so _stupidly_ selfless sometimes. And you _are_ talented. I don't know why you keep underestimating yourself, and keep comparing yourself to others. You don't have to do that! You don't need to be someone else, if you want to improve your skills, just practice and be a better version of _you._ "

Now Lance was the one looking away. Keith had stood up, his back against the storage door, hands in his hair.

"You saved me," he said softly, dropping his arms to his sides. "When Shiro was lost, and when I didn't have a clue how to lead, you saved me. I was falling apart, and I was breaking us apart, and _you_ held us together Lance, you held _me_ together. And I never even thanked you for it. You are always there, for all of us, and somehow you know what to do, what to say to make it better and I hate it that I cannot do the same for you! I don't know how." Keith stopped and took a deep breath. He took two steps towards Lance, stood in front of him until he looked up into his eyes.

"So this is what I think of you," he said. "I think you are a noisy, annoying idiot; and you are amazing and I like it when you call me samurai." His face was burning, and his hands felt clammy. "Lance, I think I—"

His sentence was cut short when suddenly the castle shook and he lost his footing, dropping ungraciously on his butt.

"Oh, shit man, you okay?" Lance asked, snickering as he held out his hand. Keith swatted it away and pushed himself up to a sitting position, grumbling. The floor was steady again, but he wasn't sure he could say the same about his heartbeat.

"Laugh it up asshole," he said, but couldn't hold back his smile and the bubble of laughter came after it.

They laughed until there were tears in their eyes and they were out of breath, then Lance scooched closer to Keith, leaned in and wiped the tears from his cheek with his thumb. "Thank you, _samurai_ ," he whispered, his warm breath fanning the black paladin's lips.

Keith was a deer in the headlights. Even after Lance sat back with a sigh, all he could manage was a side glance, using only his eyes because his neck was refusing to move. He wasn't sure if he was breathing.

"What," he croaked, "do _you_ think of _me_?"

Lance slid his back slowly down the wall and clasped his hands behind his head.

"You make it seem so effortless," he said. "I resent that. I resent your natural talent. I hate that I can work my ass off, and still won't be able to come close. It used to feel so unfair. So I was jealous, but also awestruck. I didn't know how to deal with any of it. I used to think, if I get you to acknowledge my existence, even that would be a victory." He laughed. "It was clear you wouldn't acknowledge a cargo pilot, I mean, why would you. So I was an ass. No different than James quiznaking Griffin, but at least he got your attention. Hard. To his face." He looked pleased for a moment.

"You… remember that?" Keith asked, finally able to move freely, though his mind was still on fire with one thought: _Lance touched my face._

"Yeah. I remember everything about you and your stupid mullet, Keith," he said, letting the words sink in. "I thought you had it all. It had never crossed my mind that you could need a friend back then." He turned to his side and propped his chin in his hand. "I am sorry."

Keith felt his walls coming up once again, reinforced by panic. He didn't want to feel sorry for himself. Didn't want to regret what he didn't have in the past. He was not weak. He didn't need pity. He was fine on his own. He would always be fine on his own. His eyes burned. It wouldn't have worked. He would have rejected his friendship even if Lance had offered. He would have driven him away. He'll probably still do it anyway. Nothing had changed. He was still that defiant little kid, glaring at the world to hide how scared he was of getting hurt. The part of him that wanted so desperately to reach out would never win.

But then Lance sat up again, ran his fingers through his hair and gave Keith the saddest smile he has ever seen. "You are fierce, and loyal, and I trust you with my life, Keith. You are more to me every day and I don't know what to do with it, so I guess that's precisely when I turn into a noisy, annoying idiot."

"You are only saying this because you know we will forget," Keith said.

"Yes," Lance replied and stood up. He offered a hand to Keith, and this time he didn't refuse. They stood face to face, frozen, until Lance spoke.

"Speaking of which, we are running out of time."

He was waiting, Keith realized. Waiting for him. So he reached out, and pulled him into a kiss. The panic dissipated, and the walls crumbled.

Lance responded immediately, pulling him closer by the waist and deepening the kiss. They stopped to breathe, forehead against forehead; and then their lips met again, and again, and again.

Keith paused, his mouth on Lance's neck, chest heaving as he felt Lance's heart thumping against his ribs.

"I don't want to forget this," he breathed, and Lance held him tighter, his hands under Keith's shirt, leaving a trail of fire in the wake of his touch.

The red paladin nuzzled his neck, dragging his lips over his skin as he whispered, "I'll remember for the both of us."

Keith's head snapped up, eyes wide with shock to see Lance wearing a lopsided smile.

"I am sorry that it took me 20 times of losing you to figure out how I felt," he said, pressed his lips to Keith's once again just before the intense heat hit the ship and everything went to hell.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N - So I decided to add this chapter, and one more planned. Thank you for the favs , follows and the reviews, it is the fuel!** **Warning, this chapter has some angst and a bit not so graphic violence. T**_ _ **his chapter is sort of what happened before the first chapter.**_

 _ **SEASON 6 SPOILERS**  
_

 _ **The way I imagined this is after the team defeats Lotor, but in this story they have some time before they realize the rifts and sacrifice the castle.**_

* * *

 _~ Day one ~_

 _"Paladins! I need you in the control room immediately!"_

Pidge rushed the control room and stepped inside, only to crash into Romelle, sending them both tumbling down.

Pidge swore, rubbed her nose and picked herself up as Lance entered the room.

He helped Romelle up with a sly grin.

"I know it's tough to resist this charm," he said, gesturing to himself in a theatrical way, "But try to keep your wits about you Romelle."

Pidge groaned, rolling her eyes as Romelle gave them a blank look.

"Lance, stop playing around! This is serious," Allura said.

"There is no need to be jealous princess," Lance said, walking to her side. "You will always be…" he stopped and watched as Keith burst into the scene.

Or at least as he tried to.

"Allura, what—" Keith began, and the control room doors closed on him, squeezing him in between.

Lance ran to help, but the doors opened again and spit Keith out. Keith managed not to fall, but stumbled forward with awkward steps, shooting Lance a death glare.

"Keith, stop playing around, this is serious," Lance sang, not bothering to hide his glee.

"What's going on? Are we under attack?" Hunk asked. "Is it Lotor? Didn't we just end that guy?"

They gathered around Allura.

"No," she said. "We don't exactly know what this is. Castle stopped responding to my commands, and the systems are shutting down one by one. We don't know what's causing all this. It is just like when my father…" her voice trailed off.

"Princess," Coran yelled from his station. "Castle just set a course on its own! I don't know where we are headed!" He brought up the star chart to see where their route was taking them. "What system is this?" he said, zooming in. "Oh, quiznak."

"That did not sound good," Hunk said. "Coran, tell me we are headed towards a burrito planet. Please?"

"If my calculations are correct, we'll all be dead in 4 vargas!" Coran shrieked.

"It's never a burrito planet," whined Hunk as Lance sympathetically patted his shoulder.

"I know man. Don't lose hope."

"Castle is opening a wormhole!" Allura announced.

She placed her hands on the controls and concentrated, but nothing happened.

"I can't close it," she said with terror.

"I can't change the course," Coran added. "We are heading towards a red giant."

There was a brief silence as the information sank in.

"Wormhole is not gonna hold forever," Lance said. "We should form Voltron and try to stop the castle from going through. Or maybe we can just destroy the lenses? Wouldn't that end the wormhole?"

"Coran," Pidge spoke. "You said we have 4 vargas. Hunk and I can try to find out what's causing all this."

"Yeah, we totally can do that," Hunk agreed. "But will we have enough time for Voltron if we can't?"

Every head turned to Keith, but Allura cut in.

"Zipline doors won't open. We cannot get to the lions."

"I can't feel my lion," Hunk said. "He's not responding."

"Neither does Red."

 _"…th! Anybody! Can … r me?"_

"Krolia! Where are you?"

 _"By the pods! Shiro's … offline."_

Hunk and Lance shared a terrified look.

"I have to get to him," Keith said, making a move towards the door, but Lance stood in his way. "What the hell are you doing? Get out of my way, Lance!"

"Think for a second Keith," Lance said. "What are you gonna do when you get there? If you can even get there? Kick the pods until they cave and start working again?" He looked into Keith's eyes as he spoke again. "Krolia, how's Shiro's vitals?"

 _"Stable .. now. .. eye on him."_

Lance breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. But we have little time. Keith?"

Keith straightened his shoulders and let out a silent breath. He slightly nodded before he took his eyes off Lance's.

"Pidge, Hunk, do what you can to find out what this is and how we can stop it. Coran, try to see if you can get to the teludav and manually close the wormhole. Take Romelle with you. Allura, stay here and keep an eye on the systems, maybe you will find a gap to take control. Lance and I will try to get to the lions." He saw Lance smile and Keith gave him a slight smile of his own. "Try to check in as often as you can," he added. "We don't know how long we'll be able to keep to comms online."

 _~ 4 vargas later ~_

"This is not happening," Lance said, to himself. "This is not happening," he repeated and his hand tightened around a piece of armor, a red forearm guard.

"Can anybody hear me?" he tried again fruitlessly. "Hunk? Anybody?" His voice quivered as he whispered, "Keith's…" Tears started falling down his face and he held the piece of armor close to his chest. "Keith is gone."

He dragged his feet aimlessly along the castle corridors, broken and defeated until he saw a small figure, hunched on the ground.

"Pidge?" he called. "Pidge is that you?"

Pidge looked up, her eyes dry and empty. "Everybody is dead," she said in a flat voice. "I didn't…" Her breath hitched.

Lance rushed to her side and wrapped his arms around her.

"I didn't think I'd never see my mom again."

"Neither did I," Lance said and held Pidge tighter, shielding her like a mother would shield their child. He knew it was pointless. He did it anyway.

"It's okay," he whispered. "This is just one reality."

He felt Pidge nodding, her face buried in his chest.

"Hey Pidge? Do you think there's a reality out there where Keith doesn't have a mullet?"

The last thing Lance felt before his flesh melted away was a tiny shake of laughter against his chest.

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset one ~_

 _"Paladins! I need you in the control room immediately!"_

Lance threw himself off his bed, stumbling to get to his armor, purely muscle memory. He was used to rude awakenings by now, they were routine at the Castle but his heart felt like it was about to explode.

He recalled the awful nightmare he had, which did not feel like a dream at all.

When he reached the control room, he saw Pidge rubbing her nose, both her and Romelle on the floor. He helped Romelle up, holding his tongue as he saw Keith getting stuck between the doors.

He ran to the black Paladin and held him steady as the doors opened again, prompting Keith to shove him away with a confused look matching his own.

"What's going on? Are we under attack?" Hunk asked. "Is it Lotor? Didn't we just end that guy?"

Lance looked around, searching his friends' faces. He was feeling more and more like the butt of a joke the universe was playing on him.

"We don't exactly know what this is," Allura was saying. "Castle stopped responding to my commands and the systems are shutting down one by one…"

Lance turned to Pidge, whose mouth was open, eyes wide, staring back at him. Lance's stare held a question, and Pidge moved closer.

"There's no reality where Keith doesn't have a mullet," she whispered.

Lance gasped, his entire body covered in goosebumps. "What the quiznak is going on?" he whispered back.

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset two - 2 vargas to the next reset ~_

"Keith! Keith stop!" Lance ran after the raven haired boy and grabbed his arm.

"Let go of me Lance," Keith growled. "I need to get him to safety!"

"You need to stop man, I know how this ends!"

"So you say!" He shook his head. "This is crazy! We don't have time; we have to find a way to the lions! Shiro…"

"Keith, I understand if you don't trust me, but you heard Pidge. Please," Lance pleaded.

Keith's eyes softened as he put his hand on Lance's arm, mirroring the red paladin.

"I trust you," he said. "Lance, I do trust you." He took advantage of Lance's loosened hold to get himself away from the Cuban. "But it's Shiro," he said before he sprinted off.

Lance chased after him, only to witness the inner airlock door suddenly opening.

"Oh no," Lance uttered and threw himself to Keith. He got a hold of Keith's arm and gripped the side of the door just as the outer airlock opened as well. He felt his limbs stretching to their limit as the vacuum and Keith's weight pulled him harder each second.

Keith's eyes met his. Lance's fingers were losing their grip at the door.

"Hold on," Lance begged. "Keith, please. Don't let go. I got you."

He was lying. Keith knew he was lying.

"I'm sorry," Keith mouthed, closed his eyes and removed his hand from Lance's arm.

"KEITH NO!"

The black paladin reached out to his own arm and detached the armguard.

Lance was thrown back and the doors closed, as if they were waiting for this moment.

He crawled to the inner door, punching the button over and over, crying out Keith's name.

"Lance."

He turned around to see Pidge. Her face was wet with tears.

"We need to talk," she said.

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset three ~_

 _"Paladins! I need you in the control room immediately!"_

Lance groaned and pulled his pillow over his face.

* * *

 _~day 1 - reset four - 1 varga to the next reset ~_

"Keith, you have to listen to me man. I have seen you get sucked into space 3 times now. I swear to god I won't try to save your ass again if you go that way!"

"Not that you were successful at saving my ass, if what you're telling me is true," Keith responded. "I guess you had no choice but to let me go, huh?" He winced to see the hurt in Lance's face. He knew he wasn't being fair, he didn't even know why he was arguing with the guy.

Lance threw his hands up. "Yeah, sure, it was my fault, like everything else is! There's not a chance that maybe you were being an impossible a-hole right? Cause that does not sound like you at all!" He turned away. "You let go," he said, barely loud enough for Keith to hear. "You don't always need to be the hero, man," he muttered.

" _You_ are telling me that?" Keith yelled, exasperated. The idiot jumped in front of figurative trains for all of them every 5 seconds. Who was he to talk about trying to be the hero?

Lance took a deep breath and put both his hands on Keith's shoulders. His expression was calm as he spoke. "I just don't want to watch you die again Keith," he said. "Is that too much to ask?"

Keith's treacherous heart skipped a beat. Lance's face looked very different when he was being serious. Not that he wasn't always attractive, but this was something else. It did weird things to Keith's brain.

"Fine," he said, looking away. "Fine. What is your suggestion then? We are cut off from everyone, we can't get to the lions. We don't know if Pidge and Hunk managed to devise a solution. What are _we_ supposed to do?"

It was a good question. Lance had absolutely no idea. He hoped Pidge was making progress. If not, he knew what would happen. He could leave Keith here and go his own way, it wouldn't change a thing.

Except he just couldn't.

"We'll try to find the others," he said. "But we are not going that way."

Keith breathed in and out. "Lead the way," he said.

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset eleven – 15 doboshes to the next reset ~_

When Pidge found Lance, he was on his knees, cradling Keith's broken body. He had taken off the upper parts of his own armor, and his under suit was soaked with Keith's blood.

Pidge did not approach them. She realized with some alarm that she was getting used to seeing her comrades die. She didn't think Lance was though, as she watched him whimper.

"You said not to go that way," Keith said. His voice came out with great difficulty, low and hoarse. "I didn't. So stop complaining."

He held out a trembling hand to Lance's face, fingers barely touching his cheek and leaving a thin trail of blood before it fell weakly to his side.

"I'm sorry," was all Lance could say. His face was close to Keith's, tears spilling from his eyes to the dark haired boy's lips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Keith?"

Keith didn't respond.

Lance buried his face against Keith's neck, his body shaking with uncontrollable sobs.

Pidge turned around and walked away.

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset fifteen ~_

 _"Paladins! I need you in the control room immediately!"_

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset nineteen – a varga to the next reset ~_

"Pidge," Lance said. "Pidge I can't do this anymore. We have to find an easier way to convince them. I'm losing my mind."

"We are getting there," Pidge said. "I haven't been able to counter the virus yet, but it is just a matter of time now."

Lance raised a brow. "Time?" he asked.

Pidge first let out a giggle, then burst into laughter. "I'm sorry!" she yelled.

Lance's own fit of laughter followed. He let himself drop on the ground, pulling Pidge down with him. "Time!" he yelled, sounding like a proper madman.

Pidge was wheezing when she saw Allura standing above them.

"From what you have told us," said the princess, "I understand why this must feel like such a joke to you. However the rest of us do not share this privilege."

Lance stopped laughing and looked up at Allura. Then he turned to Pidge. "Privilege," he repeated.

Pidge blinked before they gave into the next wave of laughter.

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset 20 – 10 doboshes to the next reset ~_

"I think the next will be the last," Pidge said. "I will gather the last bit of data I need the next time we reset. I can't eradicate it after it spreads though, so we will have to go through one more loop. That time when Allura calls, I will be ready to end this." She beamed. "We will be free, Lance!"

"We will?" Lance asked, looking up from where he sat, leaning against Kaltenecker's warm body. He petted her coat. "Hear that girl?"

Kaltenecker responded with a content moo.

Pidge sat down next to Lance. "How are you holding up?" she asked. "Keith?"

Lance huffed. "I wasn't going to stay with him this time," he said. "I was just going to let it be. Away from me."

"But?"

Lance shrugged. "I've lost count, Pidge. I know this is happening. But still, I always have this doubt—"

"Telling you what if this is it?" Pidge completed. "What if this time we don't reset?"

Lance nodded. "This time he found me. I wasn't even going to leave my room."

-o-o-o-

 _"Lance, open the door! I know you are in there, Pidge told me everything!"_

 _"Go away Keith."_

 _"Lance, open up damn it!"_

 _Lance heard him punching, then kicking the door. Then silence._

 _He moved to the door to listen, to check if he was leaving. He heard a rustle against the door._

 _"Shiro is dead," he heard Keith say in a small voice. Lance sat on the floor and leaned his back against the door._

 _"Krolia is trapped in the pod area with him. I can't get to them."_

 _Lance heard a shaky breath through the door. "Lance, I don't know what to do."_

 _Lance clutched his shirt over his heart. It did not stop his heart from breaking._

 _"I need to talk to you," Keith said. "Please…"_

 _Lance opened the door to find Keith sitting on the ground. He looked up, the impossible violet hue of his dark blue eyes even more noticeable in the bright light. He sighed and swept his dark bangs off his eyes. Lance's broken heart shattered into pieces. He didn't understand what was wrong with him._

 _"Come on in," he said. Keith complied. He looked lost. Lance couldn't bear to see him like this._

 _Keith took a step to him, reached a hand out halfway and stopped._

 _"Tell me this is not the end," he said._

 _"It's not," Lance replied. "Sit down, mullet," he added, gesturing to the bed. "I have lived this day more times than I care to remember." He joined Keith after the latter sat down, facing him. He took an unprotesting arm and detached the armor, moving on to the next piece. "In a couple of vargas," he continued as he helped Keith out of his chest piece, "We'll be swallowed by the red giant's heat and radiation. Then I will wake up and Allura will be announcing that she needs us in the control room."_

 _Lance reached out and squeezed Keith's arm. "You will get stuck between the doors," he began with a fond smile, "And Shiro will be alive."_

 _He let go of Keith's arm, and saw him rub the spot where his hand was. He was feeling increasingly weird, and the way Keith's undershirt was hugging his now broader shoulders was not helping._

 _"I will get stuck between doors?" Keith asked, looking a bit more like himself._

 _Lance ignored the question. "Why me?" he asked. "Why did you come to me?"_

 _Keith pursed his lips. He didn't know. He had no idea why he sought out Lance, but he had noticed the pattern. He came to Lance for venting out his frustration, he sought him out to discuss plans or tactics, he dragged Lance to training with him, and now he was leaning on him for comfort._

Oh.

 _Maybe Lance hadn't gotten the memo, but apparently he was Keith's best friend. Keith was certain however there would be another word for it, if your heart jumped every time your best friend touched you in a tender sort of way._

OH.

 _"Pidge said you two were the only ones who experienced this," he lied fast, his words tumbling over one another._

 _"Yeah," Lance said, shoulders dropping._

 _They sat in silence until they heard a loud bang against the door._

 _Keith jumped up, bayard ready in his hand. Lance followed suit._

 _The door opened, but there was no one on the other side. Keith signaled Lance to stay back and cover as he moved out._

 _It happened in a second. The training bot appeared in front of Keith, its blade piercing his chest, at the very same instant Lance fired and shot it in the head._

 _The bot crumpled to the floor and Lance rushed to Keith's side._

 _"No, no no no no not again!" he cried. "You can't keep doing this to me mullet, dammit!"_

 _Keith's unfocused eyes met his for a tick._

 _"I lied," he choked out, and lost focus again. "I… lied…"_

 _Lance let go of the lifeless body, grabbed his hair with both hands and screamed until he had no voice._

-o-o-o-

"I am sorry." Pidge's voice brought Lance back to the present. "Next time," she said, "After I talk to him, I will send him here." She pointed to a spot on the hand drawn plan of the castle. "As far as I know this unit did not have any incidents so far. You can join him and just wait it out." She sighed.

"I will try to do the same for the others," she continued, frowning. "But some get stuck at their spaces early on."

"Just don't tell me if Hunk suffers," Lance said. "I don't think I can take it."

Pidge's face was shadowed with a dark expression. "I won't," she said.

"So what is it with you two?"

"Me and Hunk?" Lance replied. "Best bros. BFFs. Confidantes, partner in crime, soulmates—"

"No, you moron; you and Keith."

"Ah."

" _Ah_."

Lance shrugged and sighed deeply. Then he shrugged again. "Dunno Pidget. But it is _something,_ " he confessed.

"Don't call me that. And wow. I thought you were head over heels for Allura."

"Yeah, so did I," Lance kept absentmindedly petting Kaltenecker. "Until I very recently realized I just wanted her to want me, as opposed to wanting Keith…" Lance cleared his throat. "Well, you don't really have to hear this part."

Pidge was quite surprised to see the pink in Lance's cheeks.

She chuckled. "Thank you."

"Gotta stay PG 13."

"And I really appreciate it, even though I'm older than that." She made a face. "Ew."

"Dude, stop imagining things!" Lance said, ruffling her hair. "How much time do we have?"

"Not much, thankfully," Pidge replied, earning an elbow to her side.

"Pidge?"

"Hm?"

"Do me a favor. Don't tell him—don't tell anyone that I'm not affected next time."

* * *

 _~ Day one – reset 21 ~_

 _"Paladins! I need you in the control room immediately!"_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: The linear order of the chapters would be 2-1-3, but I like it better this way. Thanks to everyone who read, followed, favorited and reviewed, it's always great to know someone out there enjoyed it :) Now, let's hope season 8 will be awesome!**

* * *

Pidge woke up to the chaos, as she knew she would.

She walked to the castle's control room and she waited a tick at the door before she entered so she wouldn't bump into a panicking Romelle. She rolled her sleeves and took a seat at her station.

 _3-2-1…_ she counted, and Keith burst onto the scene just on cue.

Pidge quietly brought up her console, ignoring the rest of the team and found that it was still entertaining to watch Keith getting stuck between the doors which had a mind of their own. She started typing a string of sequences as Keith swore.

What's going on? Are we under attack?" Hunk asked. "Is it Lotor? Didn't we just end that guy?"

"No," Allura said. "We don't exactly know what this is. Castle stopped responding to my commands, and the systems are shutting down one by one. We don't know what's causing all this. It is just like when my father…"

"Castle just set a course on its own!"

"Where the hell is Lance!"

Pidge tuned out the yelling and concentrated on her work.

* * *

Lance woke up to Allura's voice through the comm and opened his eyes in his bed.

He moved his hand on the bed until he felt his mobile. He brought it to his face, and checked the date.

He sat up, inhaled deeply and put the device away. He closed his eyes again and touched his lips.

He was disappointed that the taste was erased from his tongue, but he could still feel Keith's mouth on his. He remembered the breathless, desperate passion and the goosebumps on Keith's skin at his fingertips. He remembered Keith smelled like earth after rain.

He remembered dark eyes and soft lips; the wordless confessions and promises.

His heart was an open wound, laid bare for the final blow. He remembered how easy it would have been for Keith to deliver it. How easy it still would be, if only he wished it.

Lance also remembered how his soul was torn apart each time he had to say goodbye, the searing pain that turned all he had into ash, until the pain itself was the only thing that remained. That grief was the loneliest feeling; and the scariest, as it knew no bounds in its darkness. Lance had never even imagined he could turn so empty, but he had. Over and over.

He remembered Keith's blood, warm and sticky as it spread and seeped through the fabric of his bodysuit. He remembered the grip on his arm loosening, he remembered the way Keith looked at him right before he let go; and right before his lips met Lance's a second time. He remembered how the two expressions were eerily similar.

He remembered Keith told him that he didn't want to forget.

But Lance had no right to remember any of it. None of it had ever happened.

It was just a memory of a dream, the kind that faded as the day went by, soon to be forgotten.

Or it should have been.

* * *

Lance arrived at the control room in his robe and slippers, yawning and stretching much to everyone else's outrage.

"So, how goes it Pidget?" he asked, ignoring one particularly angry voice as he approached Pidge's station. "Should I refrain from doing something I would regret, or should I go for it?"

"Told you to not call me that," Pidge said, but grinned, her fingers still moving over the console at a dizzying speed.

A hand gripped Lance's shoulder, spinning him around.

Keith was fuming. "I said, what the quiznak is going on!"

"I would also be very interested to know," Allura said as she appeared behind Keith with Hunk, Romelle and Coran. "Coran just told us that we are on our way to meet a dying star, we are slowly losing control over our systems, and you two are acting strange!" she pointed an accusatory finger to Lance and Pidge.

"Shiro," Keith said before they could reply. His hand was still on Lance's shoulder, fingers digging deeper. "I have to check on Shiro."

"Krolia is with him. So is your wolf," Lance said, putting his hand on Keith's atop his shoulder and squeezing it lightly. "Shiro is going to be just fine. Right Pidge?"

Keith looked from Lance's hand on his to Pidge, to Lance, to Lance's hand again and his gaze finally settled on Lance's face, his brow furrowed. Lance winked at him.

"Done!" Pidge shouted happily and the diagnostics screen blinked back to life, lighting up the systems that were responsive again one by one.

Hunk let himself drop on the floor, sagging with relief.

"Now," said Allura. "Pidge is going to tell us what that was all about."

* * *

Pidge's explanation had left everyone a little bit shaken.

It had less to do with the fact they had relived the same day over and over with no recollection of it, or with what disasters had befallen them during that time; but more to do with what they have shared with Pidge in the meantime so she could prove to them that she wasn't going insane each time the day reset.

After they made sure that the threat was over, everyone slowly fell back to their routines. They avoided talking to each other and eye contact for some time, even though Pidge had been noble enough to talk to them one by one, not revealing their little secrets to the others.

Pidge walked with Lance, savoring every moment that was different from the last time she lived this day. It was over, everyone was alive, and finally, _finally_ she could make fun of them for every little embarrassing thing she had gathered. Ok, maybe she didn't reveal it all because she wanted to keep it to herself, save the information for a rainy day where she might require to do a little blackmail; nobility be damned.

"So you really let Keith think you'd forget?" she shrieked, eyes sparkling. "I didn't think you actually would! That's evil! And genius. Oh I am _so_ proud of you Lance."

"I knew you would approve," Lance said with a smirk.

"So, do you want to compare notes? I have some real good stuff. If we combine our forces we'll have them wrapped around our little fingers!" said Pidge with an unsettling little laugh.

"Dude, you are scary," Lance said. "I am so glad that I—" Lance stopped, and Pidge followed his gaze to Keith, who was standing in front of his door.

Lance's mouth stretched into a thin, wistful smile, his eyes soft.

Pidge looked at him and Keith, and facepalmed. The idiot had asked her not to tell anybody the last time. She had hoped it was for a prank. She should have known better.

"Oh Lance, you moron…"

"Yup," he sighed, walking towards Keith. "See you later Pidge."

Pidge just shook her head, turned back and walked as fast as she could to the opposite direction.

"Hey mullet," Lance greeted Keith. "You lost? Cuz that's your door, right there."

"I know you are hiding something," Keith said, straight to business.

Lance leaned toward him to open his door, and Keith stiffened. "And what is it you think I am hiding?" he asked, too close for comfort. Keith stepped away.

Lance sighed in defeat. "Come on in," he said. "Let's talk."

* * *

Keith entered and awkwardly stood in the middle of the room as Lance's eyes followed his every move.

He coughed, crossed his arms on his chest and tapped his foot, refusing to make eye contact as Lance's gaze bore into him. The red paladin was at least a few steps away, but his aura was packed with emotion, with something unspoken and Keith could feel the pressure in his personal space. His heart was beating faster, a reaction to what he subconsciously perceived as a threat. He was beginning to think that confronting Lance was a mistake. But then the Cuban sighed again and the pressure was gone, replaced by a faint smile on his lips.

Keith relaxed a bit, but his body was still telling him to be cautious, that he might be about to fall prey to a false sense of security.

Lance was aware that he was stretching the silence, but he had to build his composure. He had thought he was ready to pretend that they were back where they had started but seeing Keith alive, well - very well actually - and quite grumpy in his black tshirt and dark pants rattled him somewhat.

He didn't understand how this didn't happen before, how well he had fooled himself all this time. He knew now it was not so one sided, but when Keith responded to him he thought they would forget, or die. He had said he didn't want to forget, but that was most likely the spur of the moment. Lance had no idea what this Keith wanted, here and now. He was very afraid to find out.

Keith let out an annoyed huff, shifting his weight from one foot to other, still not looking him in the eye. Lance also wondered how he never realized that Keith could be such an awkward dork.

"So, tell me mullet," he said with a fond smile he couldn't help, to his great annoyance. He missed the way he used to get irritated at every little thing coming from this guy, because that annoyance triggered his snark and brought upon Keith's retaliation. He understood now, that had been his natural defense against acknowledging his damn, messy and ever so sappy feelings.

"What is it that you want to know? And for god's sake, take a seat somewhere. Not too many options and unfortunately I still can't turn the bayard into a chair," he gestured to his bed and the large foot locker by the door, "so the bed, or the locker. Take your pick."

Keith sat down on the locker. He was not going to sit on Lance's bed.

"I know you haven't told us everything. I want to know what happened," he said and looked away, his face feeling a little warm. "Did I... say something to you?"

Lance scoffed. "Oh, man, you have no idea," he said, enjoying Keith's shock a little. "You said so many things, hmm, let's start from... 'get out of my way Lance', 'Lance, I will punch you if I have to', 'Lance, you idiot'... So yeah, mostly along these lines." He took a seat on the locker as well, keeping his distance. "Eh, you were never much of a talker."

Keith smiled at that, and Lance kinda wished he didn't see it. He knew he was a clown, always had been, playing for laughs. But making Keith smile was different, it was so satisfying that it could easily turn into an addiction.

"That's not all, is it?" Keith said. "I mean, you and Pidge glossed over the whole thing but..." he turned to Lance, looking into the sapphire eyes which lacked their usual mischievous glint, "Are you okay?"

And the glint was back. "Aww Kogane! Didn't know you cared!"

Keith rolled his eyes. "Well I am the leader and Voltron—"

"Wellbeing of the team, blah blah. Yeah got you."

"Look Lance," Keith began, "I know you think nobody notices, but..." He paused and took a deep breath. "But we have been through so much, and we are friends, right? At this point I think we can call each other that."

Keith looked so vulnerable then, and his voice so uncertain, Lance had to keep his hands on his sides, clenched into fists to stop himself from touching the boy.

This was his opportunity, he thought. He could make light of this, tease him and close Keith off forever so he could go back to his silent pining until it eventually went away. Better than trying to start something until Keith realized he was not good enough. Lance knew he wouldn't be able to come back from that. He also knew he would never be good enough.

But if he made fun of him now, for whatever reason, he knew it would hurt Keith. A little, a lot, he didn't know. It didn't matter. Somewhere along the way he had fallen, hard, digging his own grave bit by bit. He would rather go lie in it than hurting that beautiful emo. He was also somewhat amused that he was feeling protective over the badass paladin who was a freaking force of nature on the battlefield and in the cockpit. He groaned audibly.

"'course," he mumbled. "Of course we are friends. And rivals. Keith and Lance, neck and neck. Don't forget that part," he added with halfhearted finger guns.

Tension left Keith's shoulders, leaving him with a stupid grin he couldn't wipe off his face for a moment. "Whatever, cargo pilot," he said.

"Dropout."

Keith punched Lance's shoulder, then looked away, thoroughly embarrassed by his own gesture which prompted Lance to punch him back.

"As I was saying," Keith continued after clearing his throat, "I saw how you were fawning over Hunk and the others earlier. Not that you mind others' personal space on a good day, but it seemed strange, and you looked... Sad. I know we are all here now, but you guys went through something. Maybe it's not the best idea to pretend it never happened? I mean, you have seen what that did to Shiro." He stopped, taking a sharp breath.

"We'll bring him back," Lance said. "We'll get Shiro back. We'll find a way."

"Yeah. Yeah we will." _I will never give up on you._ "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Keith stood up, frustrated with himself for not being able to make his point. _I want to make sure you are okay, Lance. I don't want you to be alone in this. I'm here for you if you need me._ Why the hell was it so hard? And to his surprise, Lance wasn't really being an ass so he couldn't blame this on him either.

"What I am trying to say is," Keith tried again, "Talk to me. You can talk to me. I mean, both you and Pidge." He shook his head as he heard himself. This had definitely sounded better in his head.

Lance hung his head and remained seated, too distracted to mock Keith's clumsy attempts.

Because sure, talking about it was that easy. _Hey Keith, you died on me 20 quiznaking times, and half of these you actually died_ for _me and I had a taste of how it felt to lose you, which got me thinking about this whole rivalry, Keith and Lance thing. You know what I found? I have feelings! For your stupid mullet! Oh, also you kissed me. And I kissed you back. There was a lot of kissing._

"Sure. Thanks Keith."

"Yeah," Keith muttered. This didn't feel right. Like that one time Lance had come to him to talk, unsure about his place in the team. He didn't know how to handle it, how to comfort the boy. Not like the way Lance was able to comfort him and ground him, hold him together. Lance had smiled and thanked him, but Keith knew he hadn't gotten through back then. He hadn't eased his concerns. He was not Shiro, but he knew now he didn't have to be. He had learned and he didn't want to leave it like he had before; incomplete.

On the other hand, this was Lance. They always had this complicated, fragile relationship; which he made more complicated on his part because he was attracted to Lance. And he hated being attracted to Lance. The more he pushed him away, the more they gravitated towards each other. He would relax for one second, let his guard down and he would find Lance next to him, pulling a new argument out of his ass. The worst was, he had gotten used to it. He had Lance's attention in a way nobody else did, and Keith had started to like that. The more he observed the boy, the more he noticed what he showed the world was not all of him. So it had happened. Lance had grown on him. He had missed the bickering dearly when he was away. He had missed his dumb face and dumber jokes. He had missed _him._

And he had just got him to acknowledge they were friends. Did he really want to poke at this further?

"Hunk was always with Pidge," Lance said suddenly. "I didn't ask for details. Krolia stayed with Shiro and your wolf. Coran and Romelle hang on longer than most of you at first. When we got a grasp on what was happening, Pidge tried to find safe places in the castle for everyone. Didn't always end well." He got up too, took off his hoodie and left it on the locker. "Allura was all alone," he said. "I was able to talk to her a few times. I just…" He exhaled. "I just wish I could help her you know? Let her understand that she doesn't have to carry the universe on her shoulders, let her know not everything is her responsibility, or her fault." He walked to his bed and sat down again.

Keith had come to learn that this was the Lance people didn't see very often. The boy who would carry all of their burdens happily if they only let him, until he was crushed under the weight without expecting so much as a thank you. It made his heart ache to see how Lance didn't understand how much he did for them, how he just ran his mouth with false arrogance while he never realized it didn't need to be false. He was just that wonderful, and the only one who was blind to it was himself.

Still, Keith couldn't help hating himself a little for feeling envious of the way Lance talked about the princess. He seemed to have forgotten about the Cuban's massive crush.

Lance looked at Keith and saw the boy running a hand through his dark hair, lips pursed. He was momentarily distracted by the bangs falling over the black paladin's eyes, over his knitted brows.

 _Are you in love with Allura?_

Lance jumped to his feet as he recalled the conversation, frantically waving his hands in front of his chest, palms open. "I mean as her friend!" he said. "Because she is very important to me, you know, just like Hunk is! Just a friend!" He breathed out as Keith stared at him.

If Lance was translating his expression correctly, Keith was thinking `What. The. Actual. Quinzak.'

That was exactly what Keith was thinking. Why would Lance want to point this out now? And right when Keith was thinking about it? Emphasizing the word 'friend' like Keith didn't know what it meant?

He felt a surge of nausea as heat climbed from his chest to his neck and face. What exactly had happened during the resets? What had he told Lance?

Keith stepped closer to the door, ready to dart away any second. He had changed his mind. He didn't want to know what Lance knew.

"Man, I messed up didn't I," Lance said, walking to him. "And I was gonna keep it to myself."

Keith wanted to move away, leave this room and avoid Lance for the rest of his life but his feet disagreed. They were cemented on the floor as the red paladin moved closer and said, "Well, the hell with it."

He was looking legitimately pissed now. Keith didn't know how he felt about that, especially now that the boy was inches away from his face.

"You were the worst," Lance said, not taking his eyes off Keith's. "Even when you were convinced that we were telling the truth, you just couldn't sit still, doing nothing. You kept running around, kicking doors, punching controllers, head-butting servers, cutting walls… And I couldn't do anything but follow you around and watch you die."

"Watch me die," Keith repeated.

"Yeah, asshole. Watch you die. Watch you get lost in the vacuum. Watch you bleed out, feeling your heart stop under my hands. Watch you get stabbed in the heart. Watch you push me out of the way to get trapped under rubble, leaving me to listen to your breathing until you didn't. Watch you let go to save my life." He gritted his teeth and poked Keith in the chest. "I got to learn just how stupid you are!"

"But…" Keith said, "You knew what would happen?"

"What's you point?"

"Why did you keep following me?"

Lance's shoulders dropped. "Because I'm just as stupid," he admitted. "The time loop didn't come with a manual Keith, or a guarantee. Not like I was 100% certain that we would reset. What was I supposed to do?"

"I'm sorry," Keith managed, utterly confused.

Lance muttered something under his breath. He hated that Keith had been right. He hadn't realized how angry he had been. If he hadn't let this all out, in all probability it would have burned him from the inside.

"Why are you here Keith?" he asked. "Why aren't you talking to Pidge right now?"

If Keith didn't know the answer before he entered the room, he knew it now. It was very simple. It was because he had to be here. Because he knew something was up with Lance, and he needed to be where he could keep an eye on him. He needed to be within reach.

He couldn't say any of it. He wasn't one for words, so he did what he thought would make him understand and wrapped his arms around Lance, holding him tight.

Lance's arms moved of their own accord to return the hug, letting out a quivering breath as he felt Keith's heartbeat against his chest.

"Mullet," Lance breathed into the pale boy's hair, "I need you to care about your own life more."

"Okay," Keith said lamely, the thundering of his heart making his voice inaudible to his own ears. What in the universe made this boy smell like a citrusy sea breeze? "But same to you."

"Okay," Lance parroted, his lips on the crook of Keith's neck. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to forget. He wanted to take the risk, if it meant he could feel Keith's skin on his, if it meant he could feel Keith clinging to his body as if he was drowning in his kiss. If it meant they could be something more. Lance wanted all of him, and he could let Keith decide if he was good enough or not. This was going be a disaster, and all Lance wanted was to be right in the middle of it.

"Lance," Keith said softly. "Tell me what else has happened?"

Lance straightened his back and removed his arms from around Keith.

The raven haired boy looked disappointed for a second, until he felt Lance's fingertips on his cheek.

He gasped as the red paladin brushed a finger over Keith's lips, leaving a ticklish sensation behind. Keith responded by putting one arm on the small of his back, closing the distance between them that had suddenly become unbearable. His other hand reached out and caressed the messy brown hair, evoking the most beautiful smile he had seen on the boy's lips. He could hardly believe this was happening, whatever _this_ was, but he didn't feel like running anymore.

Lance let out a contended hum and leaned in close enough for their noses to touch. "I don't feel like telling," he whispered and Keith's eyes fluttered closed.

"Can I show you instead?"


End file.
